on silence

currently listening to: sunny day real estate -song about an angel

so now what? for starters, i've lost my voice, literally. my throat's been sore since tuesday and it still won't get any better. i think its actually getting worse, god forbid. so basically, for now it's best that i just speak in hushed whispers, speaking normally just requires too much effort. second, i currently have a temperature and third, i only have two weeks to get better before our next gig. *sigh* let's just hope against hope that i start feeling better sometime soon. *sniff-sniff* good thing i can still rant about in my writing. mwahaha! and they thought i can be silenced.. well, they thought wrong..damn it! being sick with laryngitis is just hell, i mean you can't eat anything! well, anything sweet that is. dang, and here i am craving for a hazelnut donut for weeks on end now. *sigh* i feel so deprived. (yis! o.a. na to)

no but really, not being able to speak, is very depriving. i'm never really quiet, so i guess that kinda explains why i feel this way. it's just that silence sometimes just seems so awkward, its like a cold empty room that i can't help but try to fill with whatever noise i can think of, may it be music, or stupid, pointless stories, or silly questions i can think of. i've read somewhere that silence is a text that is often and easily misread and i got to thinking, does that mean that i've been misreading all these silence in my intent to fill it with whatever noise i can think of? possibly. maybe i did, in one or two occasions. but see, in my opinion, there are two kinds of silence, the pleasant kind and the awkward/awful kind and it's probably just a matter of distiguishing between the two. if you ask me i prefer the first to the second but lately it seems that the second is the only silence i keep on getting, hence, my need to fill the void. either that or i'm just no good at distinguishing between the two. but how i wish to get one of those pleasant stances of silence again.. which reminds me, i think i also read this or heard it from somewhere, it says that the deepest feeling conveys itself in silence. i can't help but agree. for there are indeed certain moments when words just become too superfluous and silence is just enough, even more than enough at that certain instant to capture whatever it is you're feeling. hmm.. silence, be it the first kind or the second, it just speaks volumes don't you think?